Dave’s Dream – A Shark In The Pool

Random voicemail message left by my pal David Haswell telling a story about a dream he had. He probably needs to lay off the magic mushrooms…

My fiction writing is available here – http://amzn.to/2nw1G4t
My YouTube channel – http://hyperurl.co/JamesRossYouTube

PLEASE LIKE, SHARE and SUBSCRIBE!

Advertisements

Spoken Word Poetry – One Of Those Men

 

Spoken Word Poetry – ONE OF THOSE MEN

One of those situations when us men get a taste of our own medicine. Told in spoken word poetry.

Please subscribe to my YouTube channel, like and share this video!

My fiction writing is available here – http://amzn.to/2nw1G4t
My YouTube channel – http://hyperurl.co/JamesRossYouTube

Short Film – Last Resort

A cheeky short film I made. The short story touches on the financial struggles many of us face in modern times, if not living hand to mouth, struggling to find work. The ending of this short film shouldn’t be taken literally!

Ultimately, this short film is a bit of fun and a way of me getting use to the software and equipment I have on hand.

Please share wherever you can!

My YouTube channel – http://hyperurl.co/JamesRossYouTube
My fiction writing is available here – http://amzn.to/2nw1G4t

KDP Select Promotion – Promo over – Initial thoughts

The above picture probably means very little to you, especially as we can hardly see it (damn computers!), it may turn out to mean not much to me either! But… it states the end result of my free book 3 day promotion. If you want any of my work now, you’ll have to dig deep into your pockets and gather up a few bucks of your hard-earned cash!

Son of a Serial Killer was downloaded just shy of 6000 times, which means that lots of people who have never heard of me until this weekend now have the chance to switch on their kindle and see what my work is all about.

I fully understand not everyone who downloads a free book will get around to reading it, but some do, and I have a new 5 star review already to prove it!

To summarise, Friday went ok for ‘SoaSK’ with over a thousand downloads recorded, then Saturday things took a turn for the worse and I saw only few hundred downloads between Saturday morning and Sunday evening.

I was cursing my lack of funds to provide a good marketing platform for the promotion as I drifted off to sleep last night, after seeing my position on the free kindle charts drift further and further from the number 1 spot, and even the more achievable top 100 chart.

As you can see above, that Sunday evening, the people of America who were on the net obviously took a shine to my psychological thriller and added it to their collection. I talk of the US, by the way, as most websites that promote free books (for free) are marketed towards that audience, so most links that I used when promoting my giveaway were Amazon.com links and not .co.uk (please forgive me, motherland).

So I got to #35 in the kindle store and down to #6 in the thrillers list! My stay there would have been short-lived as the promo ended just hours later, so I’m not expecting miracles to happen regarding after-promo sales.

However, thousands more people have my work, which means there is potential for them to purchase my other books and maybe my projects of the future too (if they were suitably impressed of course).

Extremely England, my satirical comedy, didn’t do as well, but this was to be expected in a more niche market. Still, 230 copies dished out may get me some reviews, so it’s not bad at all. That plus the fact I’ve started randomly attacking people who cannot demonstrate an adequate sense of humour.

Just to clarify, I didn’t pay for any advertisement over the weekend, and if I did, perhaps my books would have taken over the world! AS usual, I used this helpful page of David McGowan’s website and a few Facebook groups that I stumbled across. If I see any notable changes in how sales go/reviews are made over the next couple of weeks I shall report back!

Ciao for now, Jams N. Roses.

Extremely England – Brand spanking new release!

Print

Extremely England – Satirical, farcical, comical fun!

‘Extremely England’ is different to everything I have written up to this point, and is my (somewhat distorted?) current perspective on my country of birth; what it has become, the way it is run and how it is reported on by the media among other things.

When I was young, I was proud to be English and believed England was the centre of the universe! Oh, how we learn as we grow up… Please don’t get me wrong, I am not ashamed to be English, or British, but I now realise that it doesn’t matter who you are or where you are from, the chances are that you are standing right next to an idiot at this very instant.

I hope you enjoy the book , if not, get a sense of humour!

Here is the short synopsis of Extremely England…

A satirical story, ‘Extremely England’ is a naughty novella full of farcical fun! 

Bobby Saint is in line for promotion. He is widely regarded as Britain’s best policeman, as well as being good friends with Mayor Terrence Thatcher, the man to assign the job of ‘Top Copper’ to whom he believes most suitable.   But Harriet Plebb, ex-Big Brother winner and strong candidate to be the next Prime Minister, along with her power-hungry husband, Edwin, a human rights lawyer, has other ideas…

In order to win votes from a certain section of the voting public, the Plebbs blackmail the mayor into giving the job to an unknown candidate of their choice. Due to fear of humiliation and the probability of losing his wonderful wife, the mayor cannot bring himself to spill the beans to his old friend, Bobby.

After some scandalous defamation of his character, the out of favour policeman then has to rely on his hopeless journalist wife, Maggie, and her lay-about brother, Guy, to help him bring down the criminal masterminds and stop the corruption, thus claiming his rightful place at the top of Britain’s Police Force.

Contains rude and crude humour – Not for the easily offended!

‘Extremely England’ is available in Kindle format. Buy it here…

Amazon UShttp://amzn.to/13ir8sH

Amazon UKhttp://amzn.to/13vEk0D

 

For those who read the tabloids and choose to laugh, not cry…

The satirical story, the farcical fun, the naughty novella that is ‘Extremely England’ is getting closer and closer to the finish line!

It’s been brilliant fun working on a manuscript so different to my past projects, and almost a relief not to have to tap into the darker side of my thoughts to create the sinister and moody environments for the plot to unfold.

Mini-Excerpt…

The mayor had been in the business long enough to have a bloody good idea as to who was forcing his hand and blackmailing him, that and the fact that Harriet had signed her name at the bottom of the page; no publicity is bad publicity and all that.

The whole tone of the narrative was carefree.

There are situations in ‘Extremely England’ that in another novel would have to be deemed serious and thoughtful, but that just wasn’t the case here, and I loved it!

As I’ve said in a previous post, the early Woody Allen films were a big motivator for me to do a project like this, and by that, I mean the throwaway remarks that didn’t add anything to the story or plot, they were just there for entertainment value, for comedy reasons and with no consequence.

Mini-Excerpt…

‘He tried to kill the President of the United States?’ asked Bobby, finding it hard to believe. ‘What did he do?’

‘He faxed a poison letter.’

Is there a message in this book that I want readers to take home with them? Probably not, maybe to not take life so seriously all of the time.

This is a novella that provides an escape from the misery that we are told we are up to our necks in by our politicians and our national press.

This is for those who watch the news, or read the tabloids, and choose to laugh and not cry.

Extremely England – coming soon…

Rude, crude and childish – Extremely England

So, I’m nearing the end of draft zero of the manuscript for Extremely England, and I must say, my sense of humour is questionable!

I originally wrote the screenplay version of this story whilst spending too much time watching older Woody Allen films and reading the Daily Mail – The idea being a satirical look at life in modern England, which is all well and good.

However, although some of the situations, one-liners and jokes are very funny to me, I wonder how well they will be taken by others.

But will I change my humour? No, how can I?

I guess I’ll just have to hope that upon completion, I can find the right readers for my latest project, like people who don’t mind laughing at themselves, or those that don’t take offence on the behalf of others (a real pet hate of mine).

In summary, how it stands at the moment, Extremely England (working title?) is rude, crude and extremely childish. When I look at the UK tabloids, it really is a case of ‘if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry’ – so I’m going to stick to laughing, even if it isn’t to everyone’s taste.