Me? Under the spotlight? You really want to see all of my imperfections?
Over the next few paragraphs, I’ll try and summarize where I’m coming from, so you’ll maybe have an idea as to what to expect from my writing.
I am not a criminal, not in the sense that I’ll rob your bag when you’re not looking, or I’ll steal the food from your plate even when I’m not hungry, just to be a nuisance. I won’t threaten you in the street for looking at me funny, nor will I throw bricks at your windows if you don’t give me a cigarette when I ask for one.
But I have been arrested on more than one occasion. I’ve been locked up, I’ve had my prints and mug shots taken and of course, as a sign of the times, they’ve even taken my DNA. But I’m not a real criminal.
And I’m not a drug addict either. Although if I’m honest, I’d have to tell you that in several of the recent years of my life, I’ve spent more money on cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes than I’ve spent on the rent for the dirty, little apartment that I’d been living in.
I’ve mistreated friends and loved ones and lost some people that were close to my heart, but at the time I was too blinded to see the irreparable damage I was doing to relationships.
Things change, and people change, too.
Luckily, after all the stunts I’d pulled, all the ridiculous and dangerous situations I’d found myself in, things started to go on track.
I’m a daddy now, and that little boy of mine is the angel that keeps me away from trouble, away from even the situations where trouble could potentially arise. Of course, I am no angel, but I am no sinner.
I have found a way to channel my naughty side, a way to allow my mind to have a free run with its mischievous ideas and not cause any trouble, and nobody gets hurt or embarrassed or let down.
I found that by writing my thoughts, those dark little waves of energy in my head, down onto paper, or tapping them into a keyboard and onto a computer, relieved some of my desire to be in the mix myself. I stopped needing to be in the bars or the pubs and didn’t need to be high or drunk to have fun.
I’ve learnt that by creating a separate world where anything goes, I can keep the world in which my son walks and plays as safe and as beautiful as possible.
I draw on my previous experiences for my writing. ‘Get Clean’ is based loosely on my drug problems and the time I spent living on the notorious southern coast of Spain. ‘Son of a Serial Killer’ is heavily based on the thoughts and emotions I had during the break-up of a serious relationship, which all seemed too much when on top of the other daily struggles we all go through.
I hope to have an exciting life in the future, one that I can draw on for future ideas and plots and characters for my fiction novels, who knows, maybe I’ll even get to write a love story, but I’m not holding my breath!
That was a piece I did for LaeLand – A place where Lae Monie and other criminals get to put their points of view across. It’s a good place for writer’s resources as well, so take a look, just make sure that you stash your cash in your shoe first!